Domestic Disturbance Call

I guess we all have that moment where we think we should consider a domestic. I wanted to believe in Ford. We all do right? So when I saw they had a help wanted ad I couldn’t help but think that maybe I ought to email them. Think of all the cars I thought. Trucks, Mustangs, Fusions, Hybrids, Edges and even the Fiesta. I was thinking this might not be a bad idea. The dealer was after all really close to the house we are buying.

So we exchanged a couple emails and then nothing happened. Then out of the blue they called me again. I thought that was really nice. Perhaps they thought I was a man of particular talent. Perhaps they realized the error in their ways for not pushing the talks ahead quicker before. Perhaps I could help them. Take their internet sales to a whole new level. Walk to work and be the man about town. Neighbors would even comment to themselves “there goes the Ford man” as I walked by every morning with my briefcase.

But as soon as I got off the phone with the dealer boss I plugged the dealership name into Yelp and a dark cloud creeped over this vision I had. Suddenly I saw myself being chased out of the hardware store for ripping the manager off. The cashier in the grocery store gave me dirty looks because the car I sold to her husband was a melon. A neighbor began making noise complaints to the police every night because the finance manager had forged whole other contract and turned that into Ford instead of the deal she and I agreed to. The membership I had awarded myself only moments before as Man of the Year with the Chamber of Commerce was revoked. In the bars people would splash their drink glasses at me for various offenses I committed against them.

Life as a Ford Man had taken a dramatic turn. I’m sure the experience was all too familiar to them. Prospects probably go cold all the time due to the extensive list of horrific reviews. New salesman quickly leave for different jobs. Customers who went home to think it over look up the reviews and avoid every call from the same area code for the next month. Everyone that goes there take long showers to wash the dealership off of them once they get home. I was afraid to even tell anyone about my Ford experience and I wondered how many others there were like me. Ones who believed (or wanted to believe) and because of this belief had made a mistake that cost them dearly.